Where Are They Now? Revisiting "The Last Dance" Characters as Wines

A little while back, we did a thing.

We binged The Last Dance (twice) and came up with wines whose characteristics we felt appropriately matched up with some of the main characters in the Netflix™ doc.

There was some debate, but general consensus was achieved amongst the wine community (at least the ones we care about), to our own gratification. At least the gratification of Steven & I, who were drinking at the time.

Recently, being the self-proclaimed interior design aficionados that we are, we came across an Architectural Digest™ piece on Scottie Pippen's Chicago crash pad/mansion.

And wouldn't you know it. Having made this bold prediction in our previous article, Scottie took us down to his wine cellar and made our dreams (and prophecies) come true. One bottle was zoomed in on, and just as we suspected, it was some fine Rioja Gran Reserva. From Muga™, no less.

We patted ourselves on the back so hard when we saw this that we needed to take ice baths infused with Tiger Balm™ for a week.

So we decided to follow up as best we could and see how good we really were.

Let's start with a W:

1) Scottie Pippen - Rioja Gran Reserva


Blow this image up and behold. That's Pip suggesting that the table he is touching would be the place to open "some of that wine". Thankfully, for our reputation, that wine appears to be Muga Rioja Reserva based on the gold foil (not Gran Reserva...sue me). This wine retails for $28.99 at my local BC Liquor Store. I've never seen LeBron drink killer wines like this on that kind of budget. Pip is the man.

2) Steve Kerr - Cru Beaujolais

Unconfirmed (but likely)

On the right is a photo of Steve Kerr with Gregg Popovich, his ascribed wine mentor. While on record Steve has mainly waxed (disappointingly) about Silver Oak Cabernet Sauvignon, he has also mentioned Popovich's winery in Oregon and it appears that they might just be sucking on a Castello di Verrazzano Chianti Classico Riserva in this photo. Steve wouldn't even know Cru Beaujolais if it hit him in the face, but I feel like if you spelled it out for him, he'd be down and willing, as he's demonstrated interest in some broadly similar wines between his Oregonian experience and this Tuscan holiday at the table with Uncle Gregg.

3) Dennis Rodman - Gruet Brut


The only evidence online of Mr. Rodman and any form of wine is him being doused with Champagne by MJ or dousing MJ with Champagne. This was an easy one. We know that Dennis' style of play was textbook. And that was all that was textbook. Pairing him up with a traditional method, Champagne-varietal sparkling producer in New Mexico, of all places, couldn't be more appropriate.

4) Phil Jackson - Barbaresco

Unconfirmed (but hopeful)

The only evidence we can find of Phil coinciding with oenological produce (other than during Championship celebrations, as pictured) is from this New York Times Magazine article by Sam Anderson. In this article, the reporter follows Phil around a grocery store while he does his shopping. There is evidence here that Phil is indeed a bit of a foodie, which certainly lends itself promisingly to our previous theory. Two moments stand out. I quote:

"As we walked through the produce section, Jackson popped a red grape in his mouth..."

He goes on:

"At the register, he chatted amiably with the cashier, then asked her to wait while he lumbered off to get a bottle of wine."

Let's just assume it was a bottle of Barbaresco.

5) Jerry Krause - Rombauer Chardonnay

Confirmed (unequivocally)

What other wine (other than all of them) would you want to drink out of a Red SOLO™ Cup?

This one's a lock.

6) Michael Jordan - First Growth Bordeaux

Was there ever any doubt? Confirmed.

Initially, we had suggested Mouton Rothschild as the comparison to His Airness. We (Steven & I, in case there was any confusion) were promptly scolded by superior oenological authorities and told that we were in the right category, but that we'd chosen the wrong wine. We didn't put up a fight. Thanks to the great folks at TMZ, we then found this:

This appears to be a bottle of Chateau Margaux, based on our distant view of the foil. Now, Jordan has been on the record with Cigar Aficionado™ professing his love for Burgundy & Pinot Noir, but let's face it: actions speak louder than words. If any of you cool cats and kittens out there think that we've got it wrong based on our limited information, please feel free to correct us. We're doin' our damnedest up here.

Case closed!

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